This past moth has been long and busy— Shige supposed the New Year’s holiday season always is in Johnny’s. As usual, he has a novel in the works with impeding deadlines every few weeks that keeps him from having any down time between regular TV and radio appearances, and as usual, they’re moving into the planning phases for the album that they’ll be releasing this upcoming February, but on top of that, they’ve been granted the honor of holding this year’s Kyocera Dome solo countdown concert in Osaka, and the meetings and rehearsals have been eating up the free time that Shige already didn’t have. His body still hasn’t recovered from the intense few weeks of filming for his Kindaichi special that wrapped up in mid-December— running up hundreds of flights of stairs in geta was, in Shige’s opinion, a hundred times worse than dancing in heels, though the heels weren’t exactly a walk in the park either— and yet, here he is, traipsing sleepily into rehearsal on December 29, his iPhone in one hand and a venti Starbucks double-shot soy latte in the other, trying to will himself to get into take off his jacket and start warming up.
In an attempt at positive procrastination, he opens his Health app to see how he’s been sleeping, only to be depressed at the data reflecting he’s been averaging 3 hours a day for the past week. He hopes despite himself that perhaps it’s a sync error, and sets his coffee on the side table, turning his arm over to tap the screen of his Apple Watch, opening the Health app there. However, before he has a chance to compare the data, a high pitched call of “Shige~~~~~!!” interrupts him from his train of thought and gives him approximately half a second’s warning before Tegoshi is jumping onto his back with surprising speed.
Shige lets out a relatively undignified wheezing noise as he tries not to topple over under the inertia of the impact before shouting, “Oi!” as best he can at Tegoshi, who, for his part, has begun cackling gleefully. “Whatcha looking at?” he asks, ignoring Shige’s response of, “None of your business!” and peering curiously at Shige’s watch.
“You always have the most high-tech stuff, don’t you~” he chimes, leaning forward to poke the watch and see the screen light up.
“I’ve had this for more than six months!” Shige shoots back, groaning again when Tegoshi shifts his weight wrong on his already sore back. “Get off already, or I’m going to collapse!”
“Don’t you ever worry your robot watch is going to take over the world~?” Tegoshi replies with a laugh, teasing as always, totally ignoring Shige’s complaints. “I bet Kei-chan’s sexy robot lady is going to take over the world!”
“…You mean Alexa??” Shige shoots back incredulously, unsure how Tegoshi could quite justify calling a speaker a “sexy robot lady.” “You’ve been watching too many scifi movies!”
Tegoshi bursts out laughing again, but Koyama chooses just that moment to walk into the room, muttering to himself about something. “Kei-chan, ohayou~” Tegoshi yells just a little too loud for Shige’s comfort before thankfully jumping off of Shige’s back and running towards Koyama in the doorway. Thus freed, Shige stands up and turns to also greet Koyama as well, who smiles at him for a second before yelping and lurching back from Tegoshi, who, out of nowhere, has bitten his arm.
“Yuyaaaaa stoooooooop that huuuuuurts,” Koyama whines, but once he’s managed to get his arm free of Tegoshi’s jaws, his expression returns to the grimace he’d been wearing when he first walked through the door, which prompts Shige to ask, “What’s wrong?”
“I got charged for a soccer ball, a pair of soccer cleats, a 6-pack of athletic socks, and a hot pink athletic headband through the Amazon Echo and I don’t know what happened,” Koyama replies, glancing at his phone and frowning. “Do you remember anything weird happening when you were over yesterday, Yuya?”
Shige can practically feel his blood pressure rising as Tegoshi winks at him before replying in the most innocent voice possible, “Nope, no idea~ Isn’t it because Alexa is going to take over the world~?”
“What??? Ahhhhh!!! That’s scary!!!!” Koyama yelps, looking back and forth between Tegoshi and Shige. His eyes widen to an almost frightening size, and he grabs Tegoshi’s arm as if he’s suddenly convinced that he’s currently in imminent danger of becoming collateral damage of a robot uprising. In the background, Massu walks into the room only to see what’s happening and turn around and leave again.
“Maybe Alexa will murder you in your sleep,” Tegoshi adds unhelpfully, clearly enjoying trolling Koyama, who looks like he’s about to cry. “Aren’t you afraid, too, Shige-chan?!” he yelps, but Shige only sighs and rolls his eyes.
After all, he could tell Koyama that clearly it was Tegoshi who ordered all those things through the Amazon Echo, but it’s going to be a long day in a long week, and Shige is already exhausted as it is. And so, instead, he just sighs and shrugs resignedly and says, “No… because I have a Google Home.”
In response, Koyama shrieks while Tegoshi bursts into more gleeful, cackling laughter, and Shige things, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes you’re just too tired to care if your naive, technologically challenged groupmate gets tricked by his boyfriend into believing he’s about to witness a robot apocalypse.
Your turn, su_jin!