The night just got better.
Earlier Seokjin forgot the keys to the ice cream shop where he works and got locked out. He went back to the dorm and couldn't find them, and he kept repeating, "Oh god, oh god, oh god," to himself, while his roommate looked at him unamused, from his side of the room.
When he found them and was able to rush back to the store to open everything up, everything was okay again.
"See, everything has a solution," he thought to himself. "See, every locked place has a key, and every key is stored in a place." That was the logic behind it.
It was one of those things. Seokjin couldn't even begin to explain why, but sometimes he felt like the world was going to end for no apparent reason. Sometimes he forgot about being sad and about death, which was good.
He remembers telling Yoongi that much, when they shared a room and it was dark, and he was falling asleep on his own bed, right next to Yoongi's.
And Yoongi, in turn, would tell him about the times he was at work, on the coffee shop near campus, and he blasted Monster by Drunken Tiger and yelled the lyrics, when nobody was watching. How he sometimes wanted to stretch his arms up up up to the sky that looked so blue it killed him. How demented that made him feel, and Seokjin would think, mind half unconscious already, "I know that feeling. I know it well."
"The night just got better," Seokjin mutters to himself again, like a mantra. As if saying it would make it true. He tries to push the feeling aside, but it creeps back up, slow but steady. "I'm okay now," he says to himself. But nothing ever happens, and Seokjin remembers the days are almost the same. He can't change a monday to a tuesday, or a wednesday, or even a friday. Friday happens to be his birthday, and Seokjin wonders if it's normal? That all he wants to do is curl up under his blankets and hide and not face the world. Not even in the day when he was born, 20 years ago.
"But the night just got better," he reminds himself. Even though all he wants right now is to fall apart and come undone, like a pile of thin papers shuffled by the wind, or something along those lines.
Seokjin forgets what he said about things being okay, about the night getting better. He forgets about Yoongi's piercing eyes, when Seokjin asked him if it was okay if they weren't roommates the next semester. Seokjin felt like there was something (everything) more to say, but at the same time he felt like he was marinating Yoongi's pain and sadness as well, and that couldn't possibly be healthy.
He thinks about the key again, about keys being stored in a place, about the logic behind it, and he doesn't think it's that way anymore. Or at least that simple.
As Seokjin cleans the windows of the store, he sees a cicada on the ground with no legs that still moves, waiting to die. He thinks about his own heart, how he locked it in a place not even Yoongi would reach. How he had made a lock without a key, so that no one could ever find it. Find it and break it.
chuyeol you're up!