It's always been a struggle starting with the word/s left for me, and I'm always sorry to be the slowest person on earth. Anyway. On to fic we go. I'll start with another word because I have been blessed by the powers of mod-san and captain to start my turn with whatever. I'm sorry. This is the last time.
Song inspiration. Mood music. The title's origin.
"You made me
When I was used to
Drowning in storms"
Smoke rises from the lit cigarette in his hand, like tendrils that curl upward and disappear into the vents. He hears the door open, followed by quiet footsteps that head his way. Juri brings the cigarette up to his lips, taking one last drag before putting it out. He stays in his seat, relaxed enough to forget being in pain, and spreads out his arm in invitation. He remains silent as the other person comes closer, taking him in a half-embrace.
"You could've finished that," Taiga says, his eyes on the remnants of Juri's unfinished cigarette. "Would've saved us the trouble getting rid of evidence," he jokes, chuckling darkly. He means well, because he knows what's in that joint, and because being in possession of such is actually punishable by law. But he also knows that nothing else eases Juri's pain without putting him to sleep for days, and this is the only way he is even able to function now.
"It's bad for you," Juri reasons instead, not even the slightest bit offended at Taiga’s joke. “It’ll ruin your lovely singing voice.”
"I know, but it's not like I need to breathe anyway," Taiga counters. Then he looks up to Juri with a pout, realizing that Juri has managed to turn the tables with his joke. “Now you’re just being mean,” he says, sounding put-out.
Juri laughs, the sound of it as dark as Taiga's laughter from earlier, but it's a genuine one. He flicks at Taiga’s forehead with gentle fingers. With Taiga, he doesn’t need to hold back, little physical blows like these doesn’t actually hurt the other man, but Juri is a naturally gentle person despite his looks and his love for Taiga just brings it out to the forefront.
"I'm feeling better now," Juri says more seriously. He's still in pain, but at least it's in a manageable level and he is awake enough to be able to snark at Taiga. "I've already finished one joint before you woke up."
Taiga sees him wince a bit as he snuggles closer, he hears Juri's sharper intakes of breath, but he doesn't tell Juri that. He also doesn't question Juri's need for a second joint if indeed he felt better, but Juri seems to read his mind. It's a miracle that anyone has been able to do that at all, and it never ceases to amaze Taiga.
"I know, I'm sorry. It still hurts, but I want to be able to remember spending time with you. If I hadn't put it out as I did, it would've addled my brains too much." Juri explains, moving a little to look straight into Taiga's eyes.
An ache beyond the physical slices through Taiga as he holds Juri’s gaze, and he’s the first to look away.
“What’s wrong?” Juri asks, curiosity laced with concern mixing in his voice, despite his own discomfort.
Even though Taiga has had a thousand years of practice and has therefore mastered the art of keeping emotions from showing on his face, he can't hide this pain. Especially not from Juri. He gathers his courage, taking a deep breath. He's joked about never needing air, but breathing is an old habit that still ties him to his old life, and it gives him some semblance of control. It's a comfort that he sometimes indulges in.
"You are my light," Taiga starts. "You are the only good thing that has happened to me."
Juri nods his understanding, letting his eyes show that he shares these feelings, but he keeps silent, encouraging Taiga to continue.
“It hurts me to see you like this, that I can’t do anything to take away your pain.” If his physiology allowed it, tears would be streaming down his face by now. Being what he was, though, his eyes stay dry, and the sorrow he feels so vividly manifests in the way he holds himself—as if his entire body is being crushed by the weight of it all. "I'm immortal. Feelings should have no place in me. And yet, here you are. You've crawled into my very core and shook it."
"It crushes what is left of my soul, knowing that your days are numbered—" his voice rises suddenly, almost angry, but it isn't directed at anyone, not really. He catches himself, pausing to muster up composure, and Taiga continues with a lower tone. "It hurts that your time is almost up sooner than either of us would like." He holds onto Juri, strong enough to feel his warmth, but gently enough to not cause any more damage to Juri's fragile human body.
"I don't want to lose you, Juri," he whispers at last. He's so scared, so terrified, of the thought that he can barely say it out loud.
I concede. It's all yours, thesecretdoor