He feels a warm fuzziness inside, when he finds photos taken with his old phone. Hansol can’t help the smile that takes shape on his face when he sees how bright Seungkwan’s eyes shined. Right from the beginning, that shine became part of what Hansol would later called “Seungkwan’s essence”.
He only started calling it that way after they started dating, though. Before that, Hansol couldn’t find a name for it, nor his own feelings for Seungkwan. When friendship turned into love, it made Hansol a very confused mess of hormones. It was confusing when one day Hansol woke up with a pimple on his forehead and he wanted to hide that from Seungkwan. He asked himself why would it matter. It didn’t matter if Seungkwan didn’t find him attractive. A lie. It suddenly became very, very important to him that his best friend would find him attractive. It also become very, very important that his best friend’s eyes would shine because of Hansol himself.
As Hansol looks down at the photo on the screen, arms curl around his waist. Seungkwan hooks his chin on Hansol’s shoulder and peeks at the phone too.
“Oh!” He whines. “Why are you looking at this?”
He tries to take the phone from Hansol, but he’s too slow. Hansol stretches his arm and the phone is out of reach.
“Because we look great,” Hansol replies, turning his face to the side to look at him in the eyes. Seunkwan’s essence is swimming there. Despite the pout on his lips, his eyes are shining bright and Hansol knows it’s because of him.
“No, look at my chubby cheeks back then.” Seungkwan glances back the phone.
The pout is so tempting; Hansol inches closer and pecks him.
“I love your chubby cheeks.”
“What are you saying?” Seunkwan untangles and pushes him away, trying to hide the red color on said cheeks. “If I’m the one saying something like that, you glare at me, stupid.”
“Because I’m the only one allowed to.” Hansol grins, before Seungkwan slaps the back of his head. Bringing the phone closer again, Hansol shows the photo to his boyfriend. “Look at my pimple. We both looked awful back then. But we both looked great.”
“How is that even possible?”
Although Seungkwan looks judgingly at him, his hand links with Hansol’s and he pulls him towards the couch where they plop down. Hansol grabs his waist and brings Seungkwan into his lap, pulling out a high pitched cry out of him.
“We were young,” he replies. This time it’s his own arms that touch Seungkwan’s waist. “We hadn’t even confessed to each other back then.”
Seungkwan turns his neck to looks at him. “How do you remember that?”
“This huge ugly pimple,” Hansol explains, pointing at the screen, “is the reason I realized that I liked you.”
“What?!” Seungkwan’s eyebrows disappear under his bangs.
“I didn’t want to see you that day because I had it. And then I simply asked myself why it was so important.”
Looking back, Hansol remembers the nerves taking over his stomach, the sweaty palms he kept wiping over his jeans, all the while hoping he didn’t run into Seungkwan. It was an impossible mission, since the first person to looks for Hansol in the mornings in school was Seungkwan. His best friend didn’t even mention the pimple, but it was there, making Hansol feel the need to hide himself. Seungkwan kept finding him, over and over again, already too familiar with the places Hansol would go during recess.
At the end of the day, Seungkwan asked Hansol for his phone and forced him to take a photo because the sunlight was perfect from that angle and they would look great. Hansol doubted it, but Seungkwan posed and brought Hansol’s face closer to his. At that moment, with Seungkwan’s chubby cheek so close, all Hansol could think of was placing his lips on the skin right next to him. The last thing on his mind was a damn pimple on his forehead.
That day, Hansol went back home on the bus unable to stop staring at his phone. His stomach wasn’t filled with nerves anymore. It was a fuzziness that grew into warmth and spread to his chest. It was Seungkwan’s essence taking over Hansol’s body too.
“We do look good,” Seungkwan tells him with a smile that Hansol kisses.
He breaks away from the kiss and stares into Seungkwans’ eyes. “No. We look great.”
your turn, softboys ^^