Sleep was a luxury. Even just catching an hour at a time was considered rewarding. It made sense, though. You could sleep when you were dead. And if you slept and let your guard down, well, then death would easily come to you.
Shuusuke had learned how to function without much sleep a long time ago. Of course he didn’t like it but it couldn’t be helped. It was a rule, a necessity.
He could feel the exhaustion creep up to him, though. Under normal circumstances - if he had been well rested - this would have been a piece of cake for him but the combination of jet lag and lack of sleep was taking its toll on him it seemed. And maybe that mission he had only just completed before coming back to Japan. It had hit close to home. A childcare facility turned into a secret research laboratory - human experiments left and right.
It had reminded him of-
Arm jerking up, he fought off and then shot the Gs coming at him, sending them tumbling down or flying. It was no good to get distracted right now. It could cost him his life. Shuusuke sunk down to take a breather. “I managed to survive up until now.”
More Gs appeared and surrounded him.
“I can’t give up and just die here. He’d get angry at me if I died in a situation like this.” Shuusuke loaded his gun again and got ready to jump back into action.
“That’s right. That’s how it should be.” A voice spoke up and a few well placed shots sent the Gs around Shuusuke down. His eyes widened. That voice. There was no mistake.
Someone jumped down and landed behind him. “That’s my Messiah for you.”
His voice shook a little bit when he spoke up. “It’s been...a long time.”
“You seem well,” he could hear the grin in the other’s voice and it made him laugh as well. Contagious as always.
“How so? I am pretty beaten up.” Shuusuke got back onto his feet.
The other smiled. “Is that so.”
Shuusuke rested his side against the other’s. Just feeling the other close by was giving him strength again. Giving him the strength to live.
“Let’s clean up here, shall we?”
With the two of them and with Shuusuke getting his second wind, it didn’t take long for them to get rid of the remaining Gs and to bail out of the place. Shuusuke led the other to the safe house he’d been assigned to before he was to move on to a different SAKURA facility to report on his mission. When the door closed behind them, he lost all of his restraint and threw his arms around the other, holding him so close he might be cutting off the other’s air supply but well, the other had probably survived worse.
He didn’t know whether it was the fatigue or something else that caused the tears to spill out.
“Shuusuke? You’re crying!”
“I don’t know why.”
Shuusuke held onto his Messiah for dear life. Touching the other and making sure Souma was indeed real and was alive. Even though he had trusted the other and to some extent SAKURA, there had always been a little bit of doubt left somewhere in his heart.
But his doubts had been blown away the moment he’d wrapped his arms around the other and confirmed it for himself that his Messiah was still alive and well.
Wiping his tears, Shuusuke tried to revert back to his usual self but found it harder to do so than under normal circumstances. Souma just had this effect on him. Always had, always would. At first Shuusuke had hated it. Had hated that someone had been able to break through his carefully placed barriers so easily. Emotions had always been something that would be in the way for him - as a lawyer he had to remain neutral an distant and after losing the first close friends he’d made he’d closed off his emotions in order to protect himself. That protection had been useful to him in SAKURA. Until Sakai’s death and until Souma had come into his life.
Souma had walked into his life, tripped and bumped into his barriers and had made them fall down one by one like dominos in a chain reaction.
“I missed you, too, Shuusuke.” Souma’s voice was gentle and oh so very close. Shuusuke let the other wipe away his tears with calloused and yet still soft fingers. Funny how hands so very capable at killing could be so gentle.
“I’ve been hearing rumors about you,” Shuusuke finally found his voice again. “You seem quite infamous among the members of the Northern Alliance. They hate you.” He’d always felt something akin to pride for his Messiah welling up inside of him whenever he’d overheard conversations or read communication logs where Souma’s name had popped up. Pride and fear. He’d always feared that the conversations would end in ‘and then we killed him’.
Souma chuckled lowly. “That so? Well, I haven’t exactly given them reason to like me.”
“How long do we have?” Shuusuke changed the subject abruptly then. As much as he wanted to chat and laugh with Souma, they were both on a schedule. Shuusuke had just come back from overseas and was to spend some time in Japan helping out at a SAKURA facility while Souma had just helped out with a mission in Japan and was on his way back to Russia to the Northern Alliance HQ. His Messiah was off to almost certain death. Then again, that was always the case for SAKURA. Every day might be their last.
All the more reason to make the time they had now count. It had been over three years since they had last seen each other - ever since their graduation.
“I know we said at graduation that we wouldn’t meet until the promised day but the temptation was too strong. When they told me you were here and I could go and see you if I wanted, I moved before I could think,” Souma leaned his forehead against Shuusuke’s. “Sorry.”
Shuusuke smiled and lifted his hand up to caress Souma’s cheek. “You wouldn’t be you if you hadn’t done that. I’m not angry. I’m glad you did. And well, nobody said it wasn’t allowed to meet before the promised day. So this isn’t against the rules. Especially if someone gave you permission. So it’s all good.” It must have been Kamikita, Shuusuke figured. Ichijima wouldn’t have let something like that slip - although, Shuusuke wasn’t completely. The commander’s Messiah had always been the more empathetic one of the pair but Ichijima could have his moments.
“Glad you approve,” Souma grinned and then closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against Shuusuke’s. Before he could stop himself, Shuusuke heard himself moaning softly. It was embarrassing to think that just a kiss could make him feels this way but could someone really blame him? It had been years since he’d last been held like this. Received affection like this. His body was starved for this kind of attention. For love. For Souma.
Wrapping his arms around Souma’s neck and shoulders, Shuusuke whispered in between kisses, “I expect both of us to be in pain after this, so we’ll know that we’re both still alive.” He nuzzled Souma’s neck when he felt his Messiah tense and shiver at his words - in arousal. “And so that we’ll both have something that reminds us of the other. A lingering presence.”
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