The slow link to this shiritori train.
But here is is.
Continuation of my bar AU, posted in shiritori but complied
here and here
Basically Tottsu sucks at feelings. And Hasshi has lots of feelings. But maybe Tottsu can finally get it right.
Waiting never used to bother him, but then again a lot of things never used to bother him.
Waiting for Hasshi to ask him out again… but that was not happening…..
Waiting really never used to bother him, but that was before.
Before he realized what he actually felt, waiting until next time to go out with Hasshi for drinks was never a problem.
Before he had never questioned the motives and advice of a friend.
He had been happy to smile back at Hasshi, to just wave across the room at the younger man.
But now that was not enough.
Before he had never noticed, not really noticed, the light in the other’s eyes. The way his face lit up when he was happy. The lean lines of his neck. The firm muscles of his arms and wrists from bartending.
But now, he could not stop starring.
His beauty was something that kept striking Tottsu.
How he had missed it was a question no one could answer.
He had never noticed how expressive and emotive Hasshi was, the way the customers would flock to him when he frowned, the way everyone would stop and smile when he smiled. It was as if he had been blind before.
Tottsu was clearly an idiot. But he was trying to fix that. He was not sure what he wanted with Hasshi. He know that he found the other attractive, he must if he was musing on the lines of his arms and wrists. But more than that, his heart hurt when Hasshi avoided looking at him. When Hasshi’s smile dimmed slightly when he looked at Tottsu. His heart hurt at the way that Hasshi seemed just a little less bright than usual. And he wanted nothing more than to fix it. Not only because he and Mitsu were the cause, but because when Hasshi was happy, he was happy. It was that simple.
He did a lot of waiting these days.
Waiting and watching.
Watching and waiting.
But today he just might do something,
Since the concert, and since Hasshi was back full time, he has gathered a….. fanclub….. as Tsuka-chan had taken to calling them, It was a group of girls who came in, and watched Hasshi all night, and competed for his attention.
As far as Tottsu could tell, though he wasn’t watching that closely, was that Hasshi did not seem to favor any one of them in particular. Which was good. As he wanted to be the one that was favored, as much as possible.
Ok…… so it was possible that Tottsu had an idea of what he felt for Hasshi, but…. While he could and often did write songs about feelings, he kind of sucked at actually professing them. And realizing them. Or admitting them. Or a great number of other things relating to feelings.
Which is how he had missed Hasshi’s feelings.
And Mitsu’s interference for so long.
And his own feelings.
He was a moron. He knew that.
But hopefully it wasn’t too late.
But seeming the smile fade on Hasshi’s face again as drunken girls quarreled over him…. Tottsu wasn’t a knight in shining armor. Far from it, in fact, but maybe he could do something tonight, to make up for the suffering and pain he had unwittingly been a part of.
“Wait for you? There is no way he would. He will wait for me?”
“For you? He has been smiling at me all evening!”
“At you, all I heard were sighs, clearly, he was looking at me”
Tottsu took a deep breath, walking up to the bar, and through the crowd of women.
He could do this.
He would do this.
“Hey, Hasshi, are you busy after today?”
Tottsu was proud that his voice only cracked a little, but from the way that Kawai was smirking from the other side of the bar it had been audible, at the very least.
The girls seemed to not notice him, but the way that Hasshi froze, his eyes widening, his mouth falling open into a surprised oh seemed to indicate that Hasshi wasn’t expecting the question. And, more importantly, Hasshi was ignoring their bickering.
Which meant that he stood a chance.
Hasshi shook his head, though his mouth was still open in shock.
“Then, go out with me tonight?” Tottsu knew that he spoke with more confidence than he felt, and he could see, from the corner of his eye Kawai’s eyebrows raise.
“Go out with you?” Hasshi repeated back the faintest pink of a blush color his cheeks, and a question in his voice, and Tottsu nodded.
He could feel the eyes of the women on them, and while he pitched his voice low, for Hasshi, he was sure that everyone heard. That everyone could hear his heart racing, beating out of his chest.
“Go out with me, like on a date. But I know it’s a busy night tonight, and you close…. So anytime you are free is OK with me but maybe you don’t want to anym—“
Tottsu stopped as Hasshi dropped the metal shaker he was filling, the sound of the metal hitting the floor silencing the entire bar, but Tottsu was mainly focused on one thing, the person before him.
“Of course I want to date Tottsu….I mean go on a date with Tottsu…. I mean….” Hasshi’s words were rapid, rushed, tumbling word over word over one another, but Tottsu could hear them, and he was sure that he was blushing.
“Good, well after work then.”
He was fairly sure that he heard Tsuka-chan yell a FINALLY from somewhere across the bar.
He was almost certain that he heard a ‘well fuck, if Tottsu is competing we have no chance’ from the ladies.
And he was positive that he heard Kawai laughing from beside him, as he slipped a shot of tequila into this hand.
“On the house, for making the sad puppy smile again, and for getting your shit together. I am surprised, I didn’t think you could be so smooth.”
Tottsu looked at Kawai after he downed the shot of tequila, his hand only shaking slightly.
“I thought he would say no.”
“Say no?” The other scoffed as Tottsu nodded.
“You, Totsuka Shota, are an idiot. As if he would ever tell you no.”
“I hurt him.”
“Make him sad again, and we will hurt you, but as long as you try and fix it, its all good.”
“Maybe I am not what he wants. Or what he needs. Maybe I cannot make him happy/ I don’t know.”
“And he knows that. All he wanted was a chance.”
Tottsu nodded. He himself had taken a chance. Now, hopefully…. It would pay off.
But, if the way that Hasshi was glowing from across the bar was any indication, if the way that he was beaming at Tottsu, waving and grinning when Tottsu looked his direction (which was often) was any indication, Tottsu did not have anything to worry about.