93rdfragment (93rdfragment) wrote in writetomyheart,
93rdfragment
93rdfragment
writetomyheart

[TEAM FIVE] woman

Gave in and wrote this trans woman!jongin and fem!kyungsoo. Changed their names to Jungeun and Kyunghwa respectively. This is word vomit. But yeay for friendship!


Shameless. Disgusting. Pervert. Slut. She doesn't know how many times she's heard those words. She presses a hand down her skirt, smoothing out the wrinkles. It's quite pointless to be bothered by them. They hurt, no doubt about that. But if she were to be constantly bogged down by words from ignorant and narrow-minded people, she would never get her life going. She would never feel the least bit confident in herself. She would never wear feminine clothes and put on makeup.

"It's him," a neighbor whispers fervently to another as she walks past. "It's that pervert."

She doesn't spare them a glance and walks out of the complex, head held high. It's not worth the time or effort to correct them. They're never going to understand. They'll never want to. So she takes confident strides on her high heels to the bus stop. Her long bob bounces with each step.

"You look sexy," comes the rather usual unwanted comment from men loitering the streets.

And people think I'm disgusting.

She almost rolls her eyes, painted around with a delicate rosy eyeshadow. The scowl on her full lips is enough. If not, she's ready to land a tan fist on those vile faces. It's almost a relief when the bus arrives. Almost. The thing is that suffocating air of the cramped space gets to her. The anxiety she's worked hard to allay always works itself up in small, crowded places.

"You can do this, Jungeun." That's what she tells herself frequently. It's her simple mantra that's gotten her through tough times. Because she knows she can do it - can overcome the obstacles barring her way.

The sleeves of her sweater tuck most of her hands in and she fiddles with the ends. Her bashfulness tries to wheedle and present itself. She doesn’t let it. A brazen confidence is what she needs - a weapon in the streets that will swallow her whole. Several pairs of eyes settle upon her but she turns her own to the window with a look of disinterest.

This goes on until she arrives at her stop. The cool autumn breeze greets her, a refreshing feeling that boosts her energy. She heads to a pastry shop down the street with her insides tingling in anticipation. The mouthwatering scent of baked bread wafts in the air as she closes in. It reminds her of comfort. The notion had been silly at first until she found out why - the woman in the corner immersed in sketching.

When she opens the door, the woman’s head immediately looks up in anticipation. Their eyes meet and a warm smile spreads across the other’s face. She gives a smile of her own as she moves closer and takes a seat. “Work again, Kyunghwa?”

“You know how it is, Jungeun. A client doesn’t like something and I have to do things all over again,” the answer comes with a sigh. Kyunghwa’s shoulders slump in exhaustion. The bags under her expressive eyes are a dead giveaway.

Jungeun puts her bag down and stands to shuffle to Kyunghwa’s side. “Come on. You need a hug.”

The tired woman doesn’t need any more prompting before circling her arms around Jungeun’s waist and she’s engulfed in the reassuring embrace. Jungeun pats the top of the head buried against her with a smile and a whisper, “There there. If you ever need someone to talk your clients down a peg, call me.”

A laugh from Kyunghwa sends Jungeun chuckling as well before letting go with a final squeeze. She returns to her seat, chin on the palm of her hand as she eyes the new design in front of her friend. Kyunghwa probably sees this and the board faces her upright. There’s worry in the inquisition, “How is it?”

“Honestly, anything you make is amazing to me. I don’t really understand why your clients are so fussy.” Jungeun scrunches her face at the image of snotty clients making her friend completely scrap such wonderful interior designs. “My apartment looks like a magical place because of you.”

“Your apartment is my most favorite design, you know.” Kyunghwa smiles cheekily as the board gets settled out of the way. “And you’re my favorite client.”

Jungeun snorts at this. “Yeah. Cause I totally just went with whatever you wanted.” She grins afterward with an added, “Of course, it’s been my best decision yet.”

“And working a night shift at a call center is the worst. I can’t imagine how you get home safe.” Kyunghwa rehashes an age old argument of theirs. Disapproval is still evident and strong. Jungeun almost rolls her eyes.

“Like I said a million times already, I’m fine.” A light bop at Kyunghwa’s nose follows the exasperated comment. Jungeun giggles at her friend’s scowl. “I’ll be sure to kick anyone’s ass if they try anything. Have faith in my ass-kicking skills.”

Kyunghwa takes revenge by flicking Jungeun’s forehead. “I trust you. I don’t trust other people. Especially guys on the street at night. You’re too pretty. Everyone knows they’ll do horrible shit.”

Hearing her friend compliment her always has Jungeun’s heart swelling with affection. She smiles in contentment. “I know, Kyung. But you know it’s hard for me to find a job. And don’t worry. I’ve made a friend. His name is Baekhyun and he’s nice. Walks me to the bus stop.”

It’s a little funny to Jungeun how Kyunghwa’s eyes narrow in apprehension, arms already crossed. “You know I’ll have to give my approval if this arrangement is safe, right? Let me meet this Baekhyun guy. I’ll set him straight before he lays a hand on you.”

“Done.” Jungeun laughs. “Told him to meet us tomorrow for lunch last night.”

“Good.” Kyunghwa nods. There’s a pause before her arms are uncrossed and placed down on the table. “I’ll bring my brass knuckles.”

The grave promise makes Jungeun laugh even harder. Her friend is just so precious - quite lethal too which is always amusing. “I don’t like him like that, okay? Don’t scare him too much.”

“Doesn’t matter ‘cause he might and I’m going to protect you.” Kyunghwa says this in a serious manner that’s slightly dampened by the jut of her lower lip.

“You’re absolutely wonderful.” Jungeun reaches out to squeeze Kyunghwa’s hand in her own. She doesn’t point out how unlikely it is for Baekhyun to like her of all women out there. He’s friendly and accepting but he’s not going to want her in that way. Only a handful of people would. And she doesn’t say that. Kyunghwa realizes what her thoughts are anyway.

“I like you for whoever you choose to be. In the end, you’re the same kind and beautiful person. That’s who you are. Everything and everyone else doesn’t matter.” Kyunghwa lightly taps the back of Jungeun’s hand in a comforting gesture. She grimaces after a little while. “That was cheesy. But true.”

Jungeun thinks it’s quite unfair for Kyunghwa to make her cry in public. She holds it together, taking deep breaths of that lovely scent of baking. Plucking her hand out from Kyunghwa’s grip, she pinches her friend’s cheeks. “I wish more people are like you.”

The grumble of Jungeun’s stomach transforms Kyunghwa’s indignant protests into peals of laughter. Jungeun leaves the table to buy some food while Kyunghwa continues to giggle in between sips of coffee. They get into a light-hearted talk, a content air about them, once they have their pastries. It goes on for a while until whispers and stares from the table next to them become too apparent.

“That’s totally a guy.” A girl, most likely in high school, urges her companions. Jungeun doesn’t spare them another glance, not even from the corner of her eye.

There’s another round of loud whispering. The look in Kyunghwa’s eyes lets Jungeun know that there are probably pointing fingers out and indiscreet. She shakes her head when Kyunghwa asks for permission in silence. It really isn’t worth the time or effort. She’s content. Like the other previously said, everyone else doesn’t matter. To her, only Kyunghwa does.

When everything on their table is finished, they get up to leave. Kyunghwa hooks a hand on Jungeun’s arm, sidling close. Jungeun tries not to laugh at the sour expression on her friend’s face as they pass by the noisy - and nosy - table. It’s nice having someone feel so vexed for her. It makes her feel so giddy and confident.

“I don’t remember being that nasty in high school,” Kyunghwa comments once they’re out on the streets. Afternoon is slowly turning into evening before them.

“I doubt you were. You don’t have a nasty bone in you. You’re just full of cuteness and a mean punch.” Jungeun moves her arm so that they’re holding hands. “Also, a lot of talent and intelligence. I don’t know how you manage to create wonderful designs.”

It’s a delight to see her friend flush at the honest compliments she’d thrown. She wants Kyunghwa to feel just as treasured and confident as Kyunghwa makes her. The love she has for herself flourishes even more from the love her friend so generously pours out.

Kyunghwa smiles brightly. “Thank you. And you know you’re just as amazing. You work so hard living by yourself. You brave through each and every day. You’re so beautiful. And I don’t fully understand half the nursing and medical information you tell me.”

As they walk to Jungeun’s apartment for a sleepover, she could feel her cheeks hurt from smiling too much - from being so happy. There’s no need to be bothered by what other people think. She’s been through too much for too long to give in to the maliciousness that clings upon society. Happiness is in her reach - maybe already in her hands - and she won’t let go.

People will continue to slander her. People will continue to see her as a man. People will continue to harass her. It’s the inevitable consequences of the life she’s chosen. But she’s working hard not to let them weigh her down. There are others with her working to make things right - to make things safer for them and for everyone else who doesn’t conform.

“Thanks for helping me relax.” Kyunghwa murmurs later on when they’re both in bed, ready to sleep after a movie marathon and a delicious dinner.

Jungeun likes the absence of the sickening feeling of inadequacy when Kyunghwa presses herself against Jungeun like this, making the differences of their body a little prominent. She’s accepted herself. She’s accepted her past and the difficulties and dangers of undergoing the knife. This body is hers. She knows who she is. And Kyunghwa supports her like a small but sturdy anchor.

“Thank you for being you.”



Here you go thesockmonster
Tags: *team five, fandom: exo, love ranger: 93rdfragment, warning: it's a girl
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 0 comments