It's been a tough and busy week
So have way short Tottsu feels
Choose what you want was something that he had always been told. And the way that he strove to live his life.
But, after the recent debacle with Mitsu, and Hasshi, it seemed that Tottsu did not know what he wanted.
He knew that he missed Hasshi smiling at him from across the bar. He new that he missed having Hasshi ask him out every day. And he wanted to say yes. He had. He had always meant to say yes. Knowing that his 'best friend' was always running interference and keeping him from Hasshi was.... Disturbing. However, Tottsu had never told Mitsu, or anything that he wanted Hasshi.
It was something that he was only now realizing with the giant hole in his life.
A hole that had never existed before.
Watching Hasshi on stage had made him realize many things.
The warmth that he felt when the other smiled across the room at him was probably not just friendship.
The nervousness in his stomach before a performance was worse when Hasshi was there watching him.
He had been a fool not to realize that there was something in the eyes that were smiling at him from across the room.
While he loved his best friend, as a friend, Mitsu's sudden interesting in his personal life should have been a big red flag, as he had never done something like that before.
The breathlessness at he had experienced when Hasshi was dancing had been like a punch in the stomach.
And, Tottsu would admit, his body.
That was perhaps the biggest clue to everything and the one that shocked him both the most and the least.
It made everything else make sense.
But he had never really liked someone before.
He had hooked up with people. Drunken nights after parties or after clubs. But he had never liked anyone enough to chase them.
And he had never been chased. He had thought.
That was wrong. As clearly he had been chased. And he just had not realized it.
And everyone else in the world, except him, had.
He felt really stupid. Incredibly stupid. But there was nothing that could be done about it now.
Except maybe wait.
And the next time Hasshi invited him out, he would say yes. No matter what.
Except, of course, things in life were never quite that simple.
alchemicink you are up!